ehm , cerita pertamaku di blog ini .
aku pengen cerita lumayan banyak tentang " my boyfriend yang sekarang jadi mantan " hha .
mungkin dia gk suka ya aku omongin tapi aku cuman pengen buat suatu kenangan kalo uda gk ketemu dia lagi .
hmm dari awal , aku gk pernah kenal sama dia sedikitpun . kitapun bertatap muka , jabatan tangan , saling senyum dan bercanda itu di kelas 2 SMA . emang dasarnya aku nih anak PENDIAM , yah jarang lah ya aku ngobrol banyak sama dia . untung dia orangnya rame , nyambung deh .
akhirnya dateng malem itu . " he sends me a message " dan dia berkata " is there any homework? " ada namanya di bagian bawah pesan :) sedikit kaget sih dia tiba-tiba sms . lama lama lamaaaa deket dan akhirnya gk di sangka aku jadi QUEEN nya . hmm ditanya seneng ? VERY , VERY HAPPY . tau knapa ?
" he was my first boyfriend "
I'm happy to be his, he can accept me without seeing flaws (shy, quiet, not smart, not pretty, geeky,and more). aku sampai saat ini tidak pernah tau apa yang membuat dia memilihku , kelebihanku saja aku tak tau . kita menjalani " DATING " dengan sangat normal sama dengan orang pacaran pada umumnya .
handrails, rub-rub his head, back together, pinching the cheek-pinching, back-reply message, call, joking,talking, and more. mungkin bagi kebanyakan orang yang sudah terbiasa pacaran itu biasa , tapi buat aku itu LUAR BIASA . hhe .
kita pacaran jalan 2 bulan , disitu mulai sesuatu hal yang sering orang pacaran alamin aku dan dia sering berantem , beda pendapat dan mungkin marahan . aku mulai sadar bahwa dia sudah mulai BOSAN dengan aku , aku bisa terima , karena mungkin memang aku SOMEONE WHO IS BORING . dan ada sesuatu hal lain yang mungkin aku tidak berhak mengatakannya disini . aku yang memutuskan untuk SAID END .
crying, loneliness, loss, hurt, miss, meditation, silence, solitude itu yang aku rasakan .
like a dream and then he asked me to start the story again from scratch . aku hanya berkata " YA " .
kebahagiaan itu datang lagi dalam hidupku , aku berusaha membuatnya bahagia , membuatnya tersenyum , membuatnya hanya menyayangiku .
but happiness is not a long walk, just 2 months of episodes and SAD ENDING. ME FAIL! happy fail, fail made him smile, and failed to make it just loves me. I do not know what else should I do besides let him to be happy with other people better. I realize maybe I'm not someone who is fun, I'm just a boring WOMEN.
BUT UNTIL THIS TIME, HONEST, HE NEVER KNOW WHAT CAUSE ME DECIDE relationship with HIM FOR THE SECOND TIME. JUST ME KNOW.
note:
a little message to someone who has been away, maybe I can not say this is really direct. I'm not brave enough. but clearly, I will not forget with someone that has colored my life for the first time.
maybe when we establish a relationship, I always make you annoyed, angry, do not like, hurt. I'm sorry, I never intended to hurt. sometimes , I hate you but always failed. bad-you ugly in my eyes you the most good. although you always hurt me, I always try to forgive. sorry if I was presumptuous, I admit I was wrong. FORGIVE ME.
Thanks for that wonderful time, thanks for the love that you love, and for all :).
and also sorry I made a blog about you. This is only for my memories. THANK YOU.
15 SEPTEMBER 2009 :) :'( :)